You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
