normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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