and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Only a mothe r could love this liver
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
