Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
