is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
