And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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