May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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