is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
