My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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