Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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