never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
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Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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