yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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