Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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