Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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