It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
