So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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