Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
