Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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