he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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