I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
