Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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