is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
