Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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