Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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