Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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