it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
