Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
whose parrot is this?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
