Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
