the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
