so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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