i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
So many bounce houses so little time
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.