I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize