i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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