? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
