I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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