well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize