if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
