I skipped work to stalk him.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Holy shit dude........stairs
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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