I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You were trust falling into bushes
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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