dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
