I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
