but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
