I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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