Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
