The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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