Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
