After last night, I could never be a politician.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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