I'd wear matching sweaters with you
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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