We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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