Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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