I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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