Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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