I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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