i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
