he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
