i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Farmville is her only friend.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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